


Dedication of the Doctor

by TrekTraveler



Series: The Samantha MacKade Chronicles [4]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:09:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25522633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrekTraveler/pseuds/TrekTraveler
Summary: Samantha MacKade had been successfully avoiding Dr. Julian Bashir after the events of The Roadtrip until a Holosuite accident landed her in the Infirmary.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Samantha MacKade Chronicles [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616893
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Dedication of the Doctor

Julian was having a relatively slow day in the Infirmary when the comm came through, “Incoming emergency medical transport.”

He strode into the main exam room from his office just in time to see three people materialize in. Jadzia Dax and Miles O’Brien with an unconscious Samantha MacKade hoisted in his arms.

“Afternoon Julian,” the Chief quipped as he carefully deposited Sam on the nearest biobed. Her head lolled to the side revealing a large, swelling bruise on her temple.

“What happened here?” Julian frowned, running his medical tricorder over his patient.

Jadzia was the first to answer, “It was an accident! We were kayaking in the Holosuite and… Oh, I’m so sorry!”

O’Brien rolled his eyes, “Dax whacked her with an oar.”

Julian didn’t spare them a glance as he worked, “I guess shoulder dislocation isn’t the only hazard in your kayaking program.”

Jadzia looked practically sick with remorse, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know she was behind me!”

The chief scoffed, “Oh, so when I said stop, no, and duck that didn’t clue you in?”

Dax turned her worried blue eyes to Julian, “I didn’t think I hit her that hard, she was talking to us and then just keeled over. Is she going to be alright?”

“She has a significant concussion,” Julian said, swapping his tricorder out for an ocular generator, “But given a few days observation and plenty of rest, she should make a full recovery.” 

“You’re sure?” she asked anxiously.

He paused to briefly give the Trill a reassuring smile, “She’ll be just fine Jadzia. Why don’t you stop by tomorrow afternoon and see for yourself? I’m sure Sam will be sick of my company by then.”

“Come on, Lieutenant,” Miles said leading her out of the Infirmary so that Julian could continue his treatments without interference. “I’ll buy you a raktajino.” Miles paused and looked back over his shoulder, “Raincheck on darts tonight?”

Julian was completely absorbed in his work, “Hmm, yes. Another time.”

O’Brien nodded his understanding and left. Julian could have easily treated Sam and left one of his nurses to monitor her condition through the night, but knowing the doctor as he did, that would never happen. Neither Julian nor Sam divulged all the details of their little trip to the Gamma Quadrant, but he could feel the subtle shift between them. There was an underlying tension now, no matter how they tried to normalize it. They obviously cared deeply for each other, perhaps even more now than ever before. Dr. Julian Bashir with his dedication and heart of gold would be by her side until he was satisfied that she was out of the woods. It was exactly those admirable qualities that had Miles proud to call him friend.

Sam’s head was spinning. Actually, everything was spinning. Like a tilt-a-whirl at an amusement park. Round and round, making it impossible to get her bearings. Everything was jumbled and everything hurt. No, not everything, she realized rather slowly, it was her head that was pounding. Worse than any hangover or migraine, her head throbbed in sync with her pulse and caused her stomach to lurch. Somehow through the haze she managed to pry open an eye, but quickly slammed it shut. The swirling colors and shapes made no sense and caused a sharp pain to shoot through her temple. After a moment, she tried to open her eyes again and a familiar face came into view.

Julian was on his fourth cup of Tarkalean tea when he heard the bio-sign monitor give a subtle beep indicating that Sam was regaining consciousness. She sighed softly as he approached the bedside and slowly opened her eyes. He smiled down at her, “Hey there.”

Sam smiled slightly then groaned as she tried to move her head. “What happened?”

“You were kayaking in the Holosuite,” he replied, keeping his voice soft, “Took a pretty hard knock from Dax’s oar. Gave you a nasty concussion, although I think Jadzia’s guilt will likely last longer than your injury.”

Sam closed her eyes, trying to recall the memory of those events only to come up empty. She winced, “I zigged when I should have zagged?”

He chuckled, taking her standard odd terminology as a positive sign, “Something like that.”

The more she tried to put thoughts together, the less success she seemed to have. “Kayaking… I don’t remember that.”

Julian nodded, “Memory loss is part of the concussion I’m afraid. Given enough rest, you may regain some, but I wouldn’t be too concerned. You still remember the important things, me for instance?”

“Hmm, I think so,” Sam pursed her lips in thought, “Dr. Sisko, wasn’t it?”

“Very funny,” he said, taking the opportunity to scan her neural pathways now that she was awake. “You know, if I knew it was going to take a head injury to get a moment alone with you, I might have sent you kayaking with Dax days ago.”

Sam closed her eyes against a wave of nausea, “I know. I’ve been… busy. Cataloging data.”

“So long as you weren’t avoiding me, I doubt my ego could take it.” He said, half joking.

“No, of course not,” the protest sounded weak even to her fuzzy mind, “Maybe. A bit.”

She sighed wearily, “I’m sorry, I know its not fair. I just didn’t… couldn’t…” 

“No, I’m sorry,” Julian stopped her, guilt washing over him. This was the first time he had seen her since they returned from the Gamma Quadrant. She had holed herself up in her lab almost immediately. At first, he felt the all too familiar sting of rejection but that faded after a few days and he found he simply missed her. But now was not the time to get into all of that. 

“You need to rest,” he advised kindly, “There will be plenty of time to talk when you’re feeling stronger.”

Sam continued as if she didn’t hear him, “I just needed time… to sort out… things. I wasn’t sure how to act around you.”

Julian laid a hand on her worried brow and smoothed back her hair, “Just act as you always do, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Maybe it was the concussion affecting her judgement, or maybe it was being with Julian. The sincerity and kindness he always held in his gaze washed over her and the words poured out. “I was afraid. Love brings loss, Julian. It… it always has for me.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way.”

“How can you say that? You are a Starfleet officer. CMO of DS9, the first line of defense for the Alpha Quadrant. The Dominion is on our doorstep, threatening war every other day. Ships going missing in the Badlands…” she closed her eyes and took an unsteady breath, trying to focus. Everything was spinning and she felt like she was in the belly of a ship at sea. “It’s a dangerous place and loss… loss is ...”

Suddenly, she paled, and a troubled look crossed her face. “Sam, what’s wrong?”

“I think… I’m going to be sick,” she mumbled.

Julian acted quickly, grabbing a stainless-steel receptacle just in time for Sam to empty her stomach into it. He rubbed small circles on her back, doing what he could to soothe until the spasms passed. When she was spent, she collapsed back on the biobed and closed her eyes against the dizziness that threatened to close in on her.

Julian was talking to her, he seemed so very far away. He slipped a steady hand under her neck and lifted her head, bringing a glass to her lips, “Here now, rinse but don’t swallow.”

The liquid was cool and slightly minty. She did as instructed, swished it around her mouth and spit it out in the shallow bowl he held under her chin. A moment later he reappeared with a hypospray in his hand. When he brought it to her neck, she raised a hand to stop him. 

“For the nausea and the headache, although you may feel a bit drowsy” he explained. When she shook her head, he frowned, “There is no need for you to be in pain. Let me help.”

“No. Not yet,” she replied, feeling a bit steadier. “Let me say this… then you can do what you like. I’m not sure I’ll even remember, but you will. I suppose that’s something.”

It went against his better judgement as a doctor, but Julian complied with her request. She reached over and grasped his hand taking a deep breath. “I’m sure it seems a contradiction, to live life like I do and worry about losing people. Its just the pattern that presents over and over again in my life. Get close to someone and lose them. Then I got close to you, and I was a fool. I didn’t realize it until it was too late… so I tried to stop it and ended up losing you anyway, just… just not in the way I expected.” 

She looked up into Julian’s warm, brown eyes and mustered up every bit of courage she had, “I’m sorry. I miss you. I miss spending time with you and talking to you. I miss arguing with you. I miss our friendship. And I am so, so sorry because that friendship is all I have to offer.”

“Shh, shh,” Julian soothed, enveloping her cold hand in both of his warm ones, “You offer your friendship and apologize because you don’t believe that to be enough? Life may not come with guarantees, but I promise that I am your friend, for as long as you’ll have me.”

Seemingly satisfied with his pledge, Sam nodded and shifted uncomfortably on the biobed. “You’d better give me that hypo now, before I get sick all over your shoes.”

He gently pressed the instrument just under her chin and watched as her eyes fluttered shut when the drug was released into her bloodstream. Julian sat by her side for a long time, holding her hand and reflecting on what she had said. It was then that a conversation he had with Miles came flooding back to him.

“Fair?” asked Miles  
“Fair, to them.” Julian said, scanning the burned-out buildings on the T’Lani street, “I mean look at us, our lives are constantly in danger. There’s enough to worry about without worrying about the wife and kids back home worrying about us.” He paused, realizing the implication his words would have on a family man like O’Brien. “I’m sorry chief, I just feel that way. A lot of career officers feel that way.”  
Miles scoffed, “Well, you career officers don’t know what you’re missing.”

He had been arrogant back then, Julian realized as his thumb traced the fine bone structure of the hand resting in his. Arrogant and cocky, so sure he knew everything. The chief, with his wisdom and experience, had tried to tell him something important, but he didn’t fully understand it until now. Samantha was merely echoing sentiments that he had held for a very long time. Any sort of serious romantic relationship was best avoided, that was the price for a life lived in Starfleet.

“Women! That’s all you think about.”  
Julian chuckled, “No it isn’t. But I do think about them a lot.”  
“Yeah well, one of these days you’ll fall in love with one.”

Miles had been right. ‘One of these days’ presented itself when Samantha MacKade set foot on the station. Perhaps it had been unfair to allow her to pour her heart out when her judgement was obviously compromised. At least now he knew what the problem was. It was one he understood well, and although his position on the matter had changed, he respected it. He meant what he said to her, he was her friend and would always be.

Sam woke up feeling itchy. She frowned as her fingers found the cause. Ugh! These damned Infirmary gowns, why don’t they get something more comfortable? They give them to sick people after all! Wait a minute… sick people?

Her eyes flew open and found that she was indeed laid up on a bed in the Infirmary. Alone at the moment, she took inventory. She didn’t feel sick, nothing seemed broken or bruised. A dull headache and stiffness from being on the biobed were her only complaints. Honestly, she felt worse after pulling an all-nighter in the lab. What the hell??

She cleared her throat and tentatively called out, “Hello?”

Julian appeared a moment later and smiled, “Ah, good morning!”

“Good morning,” she returned, as confused as ever.

“How are you feeling?’ he asked, picking up the tricorder and running a few standard scans.

Sam shrugged, “Fine, I guess. Bit of a headache.”

He nodded, “Any nausea, dizziness?”

“Nope.”

Satisfied, he removed the metal probe from the tricorder and shone it in her eyes, “Good. Very good.”

After a pause she asked, “Julian?”

“Hmm?”

“This may be a stupid question but… what happened?”

Julian paused in his examination, “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Her brow furrowed as she tried to think, “Um, I was in the Holosuite with Dax and O’Brien. We were… swimming?” 

“Kayaking.” He supplied.

“Oh.” She replied, a bit troubled that it didn’t ring any bells. “Right.”

Concussions were funny things; one could never predict how short-term memory would be affected. As she sat here now, looking at him with bright green eyes that were clear and alert, it was obvious that she had no memory of their conversation last night. 

He placed the tricorder back on the table and faced her, “From what I understand you took quite a blow from a kayak paddle.” He smiled her then, “You, ah, zigged when you should have zagged.”

“Ah, well that sounds like me,” she smiled back and brought a hand to her head.

“That headache is from the concussion,” Julian explained. “Unavoidable, I’m afraid. As is your stay in the Infirmary. You will need to remain here for at least another forty-eight hours for observation.”

She wrinkled her nose, but didn’t object, “Alright, but do I have to wear this gown the entire time?”

“Yes, you do.” He answered then paused, “Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“Its hideous,” she informed him with her customary authority, “And it itches like the Devil’s underwear. Aren’t you friends with a tailor? Surely Garak could come up with something better than this!”

Julian only shook his head and rubbed a weary hand over the back of his neck, “I’ll run it past him.”

It was then that Sam took a proper look at the doctor. He looked tired, she realized. Exhausted really. His uniform was wrinkled in odd places and there was a five o’clock shadow beginning along his jawline. “So, just how long was I out?”

Julian checked the computer monitor, “Ah… just under nineteen hours.”

“Nineteen hours!” she exclaimed. “And you’ve been here the entire time?”

“Of course.”

Would she ever stop being astounded at this man’s kindness and dedication? “Julian, you didn’t have to do that. You should go get some sleep; you must be exhausted.”

“You were injured. There was no place else I was going to be,” he proclaimed, then smiled as he looked up and saw Jadzia walk though the doors of the Infirmary. “But it appears my shift has ended now that my relief has arrived.”

“Dax,” Sam smiled.

The Trill grinned in return, and hoisted up a bag from Sam's favorite cafe, “I thought you might be ready for some breakfast. If your doctor approves?”

“Absolutely,” Julian said, content to leave the two women to their pastries. He exited the Infirmary and made a brief stop at Garak’s shop on his way to his quarters. Hospital gowns that itched like the Devil’s underwear were definitely not conducive to the healing process.


End file.
